Posted by: mutantpoodle | June 27, 2007

Great Moments in American Literature – Futures Edition

rumsfeld3I know most people think that the literary efforts of ex-Bush Administration officials pale in comparison to The Pet Goat – and a lot of them do. At last, there’s good news on the horizon.

Don Rumsfeld – Rummy, to those of you who know him and love him, may be writing a memoir.

I don’t know how I’ll wait for this one, so in the interest of time, let me give Rummy (we’re tight, the Rumster and me) a few chapters to ponder:

I – The Army you have

II – The Army you break

III – WMDs? Who said anything about WMDs?

IV – Days, Weeks, Months, Whatever

V – Winning is saying you’re not losing

VI – Hey – they toppled that Saddam Statue, didn’t they?

So who is the audience for this tome, which the New York Sun piece claims has the publishing world “abuzz”? My guess is no one, save perhaps Richard Perle and Doug Feith. (Dick Cheney may buy a book as a favor to his old buddy, but I see him haranguing the publisher for a freebie.) Once it’s remaindered, maybe about 3 weeks after publication, it will be sent in bulk to the US Military Academies. There, those who teach about warfare from experience can use Rumsfeld as a case study of the kind of guy you don’t ever want to listen to if you’re heading into a fight. Thousands of trees later, maybe some good will come of it.

All this is speculation, of course. Rumsfeld might not write anything at all – his priority, apparently, is planning a new educational foundation.

That’s right, Donald Rumsfeld wants to influence the youth of America. The ones, that is, that he’s not responsible for killing already.

So here’s the choice: A useless, self-serving book by one of the most disastrously incompetent cabinet officers in American history, or the application of that mind to the development of young minds in this country.

Much as I am fond of trees, I think they need to take one for the team.


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