Posted by: mutantpoodle | December 17, 2007

Liberal Fascists: Be Very Afraid

So Jonah Goldberg, spawn of Lucianne, has checked in on his million monkeys in time to publish, under his own name, Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning. I refuse to link for obvious reasons.

But here, courtesy of Matthew Iglesias, is the money quote:

The quintessential liberal fascist isn’t an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

For the record, I went to Brown (undergrad), my sister got her PhD there, and both my parents attended Swarthmore. Apparently, I am fortunate that none of us chose an education degree (although I did take a History of Education course while I was there, so perhaps I was infected after all) and none of us teach grade school, or I would be swimming in a pool of liberal crytofascism, although now that Goldberg has blown the lid off of our secret cabal, I guess we can strike the crypto prefix.

More seriously, Goldberg apparently typed that sentence (I haven’t completely abandoned the thought that some acid-aided million monkeys/million typewriters experiment generated it, but I think even monkeys on acid would have thought better) and an allegedly human editor at Doubleday, for chrissakes, thought it worthy of publication.

Goldberg’s thesis is that because both Nazi and liberals attitudes towards organic farming, free health care, pensions for the elderly, smoking, and abortion, to name a few, are similar, then we liberals are, in fact, fascists.

It is probably beyond his comprehension that the problem with the Nazis wasn’t the organic farming or their opposition to smoking, but their unchecked imperial aggression which precipitated World War II, and their obsession with Aryan superiority which led to the holocaust. The Nazis singled out Jews, blacks, and gays as lesser humans – but even as Goldberg’s fellow travelers share that attitude towards at least one of those three groups, I am unwilling to apply the f-word to them.

At least the f-word with an “a” in it.

[Youtube of Keith Olbermann reminding us of one of Jonah’s lesser feats of prognostication from February of 2007.]

UPDATE: Alicia wondered where young Jonah might have matriculated. Here’s this from Wikipedia:

Goldberg graduated from Goucher College in 1991. His was the first class at Goucher to admit men, a fact which Jonah jokes enabled him to play on the school’s basketball team, a feat he probably would not have been qualified for at most schools.

Probably made it easier to get dates, too.

Interestingly, Goucher offers both a major and a minor in Peace Studies, and while I don’t know if our young Jonah studied peace back then, it’s very clear that this didn’t take:

…differences enrich our lives and that conflicts provide opportunities for growth, peace studies proposes ways of being in the world that incorporate the skills of listening and dialogue, mediation and negotiation, ideas of rights balanced with responsibilities, questions of justice, and philosophies of nonviolence.

The failure of the liberal arts now has a face – just not one I care to look at.

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