Posted by: mutantpoodle | December 21, 2007

Walt Kelly’s Christmas

pogoAmid the viral (and apparently drug resistant) stupidity surrounding the alleged and very clearly non-existent War on ChristmasTM, methinks its time to bring back one of my favorite Christmas Classics, via Walt Kelly’s Pogo.

Yes, it’s Kelly’s timeless version of Deck the Halls, which starts out innocently enough with “Deck us all with Boston Charlie” and devolves from there. I challenge you to sing it correctly the first time out. Warm up the vocal cords, stay away from Peanut butter and milk, ‘cuz here goes:

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo!
Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don’t we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby Lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n’ too-da-loo!
Hunky Dory’s pop is lolly gaggin’ on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!

Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloup, ‘lope with you!
Chollie’s collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!

Duck us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an’ Polly Voo!
Chilly Filly’s name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly’s jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, Woof, Woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, Goof, Goof!

Tickle salty boss anchovie
Wash a wash a wall Anna Kangaroo
Ducky allus bows to Polly,
Prolly Wally would but har’ly do!

Dock us all a bowsprit, Solly —
Golly, Solly’s cold and so’s ol’ Lou!

Sigh – that’s all there is: 7 1/2 verses of inspired nonsense.

On that happy note, Merry Christmas. Or, to piss off Bill O’Reilly, Happy Holidays.

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