Posted by: mutantpoodle | January 19, 2008

Mike Huckabee’s Mixed Martial Arts Metaphor

I know better than to take Mike Huckabee too seriously – I mean, if he can’t be bothered to find out the contents of a fairly revealing NIE on Iran within, say, 48 hours, he’s not taking this whole presidency thing too seriously himself, right?

But I heard someone on NPR talk about Huckabee’s “Billy Jacktheory of military intervention, which he describes as going to war with overwhelming force. And I had say something, for three reasons.

First, it gives me an excuse to show the clip above – a seminal moment in martial arts movies – where the bad guy gets decked by a flawless inside circle kick, executed by the film’s fight choreographer and Tom Laughlin’s stunt double, Hapkido Grandmaster Bong Soo Han.

Second, it just goes to show that Huckabee either never saw Billy Jack or forgot what happens throughout most of the movie. In the scene above, Billy Jack is alone (underwhelming force) an the mob ends up getting the better of the fight and beating him to a bloody pulp. Perhaps not the model on which to pattern U.S. Military strategy, eh? (If Huckabee had any brains or wit, he’d refer to our current military/foreign policy as the Billy Jack strategy, where we largely go it alone and suffer the consequences.)

Third, Huckabee is riding the endorsement of martial arts expert and movie/TV star Chuck Norris – you’d think he could throw his guy a bone, although, I admit, that saying you’re military strategy will be based on “Lone Wolf McQuade” or “Missing in Action” might not be the best pitch.

Actually, Norris and Grandmaster Han were contemporaries, and had a great deal of respect for one another. But I think that Huckabee might have learned something from Bong Soo Han, had they met before Han’s passing just over a year ago. And that is that if you don’t have to fight, don’t.

Huckabee watched the wrong movie, picked the wrong cinematic role model, and subtly dissed his tough-guy endorser. But what do you expect from a guy so clearly unwilling to do his homework?

P.S. It’s worth it, if you like the martial arts drama, to watch the “Fistful of Yen” parody in Kentucky Fried Movie. Grandmaster Han stars as an evil martial arts overlord with a well-accessorized mechanical hand.

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