Posted by: mutantpoodle | March 25, 2008

The Commander in Chief Test

Calvin takes a Test

Calvin takes a Test

It occurred to me that all this talk of a “Commander in Chief Threshold” segued nicely into a test – the Commander in Chief test, let’s call it.

That bastard Keith Olbermann had the same thought. On his 5th Anniversary special on NBC this Sunday night, he will present his own Commander-in-Chief test, in deference to Hillary’s “threshhold” comment of several weeks ago. Olbermann’s preview of said test was fairly light-hearted, and why wouldn’t it be, since the test Hillary apparently passed involved the hazards of traveling with Sinbad and Sheryl Crow – namely, that Sinbad will remember what happened, and spill.But were there an actual test, what would – and should – it be?

Here are just a few questions that I’d like someone who wishes to be President to answer. Correctly. And, notwithstanding Hillary’s claims to the contrary, I’m not sure our good Senator McCain would pass.

  • True or False: If someone attacks you, the most effective response is to beat on them briefly before attacking someone who didn’t attack you.
  • True or False: American Military power will overcome centuries of tribal and religious divisions in whatever country one chooses to invade.
  • True or False: It’s normal to need a flak jacket and have a helicopter gunship escort when walking through almost every outdoor marketplace around the world.
  • True or False: Torture yields accurate, actionable intelligence.
  • The Constitution is… (a) the guiding document of our republic, and its preservation, protection, and defense is the cornerstone of the Presidential oath of office; (b) a quaint old document, to be followed if convenient; (c) valid if the President says so.
  • Assuming current estimates are correct, the Social Security trust Fund will be unable to pay out 100% of its obligations (a) in less than 10 years; (b) in between 10 and 20 years; (c) in between 21 and 30 years; (d) not until after at least 30 years.
  • True or False: Iran is a major sponsor of al qaeda.
  • True or False: The best people to create a balanced, forward looking energy policy are executives of energy conglomerates.
  • True or False: The American Health Care System is the envy of the world.
  • True or False: An American flag pin is the ultimate indicator of one’s love for this country.
  • True or False: It is less important to learn from experience than to simply have a lot of it.

That’s 10, and I’m not feeling terribly inspired. I’d suggest if you can’t get eight of them right, you should go home.I’m open to suggestions, revisions, and additions – everybody can play…

Note: You have to love Bill Watterson and Calvin & Hobbes


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