Posted by: mutantpoodle | November 7, 2008

A Modest Proposal

mormonI find, after careful reflection, that while I have nothing against the Mormon church – nor, in fact, Mormons, as there are Mormons in my family – I believe that the acceptance of Mormons as members of a “church” threatens the sanctity of my church, which does, after all, trace its heritage back to Christ and His disciples.

Therefore, I am proposing a constitutional amendment for the State of California, which amendment shall state, in its entirety, that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, otherwise known as the Mormon Church, may no longer be recognized as a religion by the State of California.

I propose this amendment for two reasons:

  • As Mormonism isn’t, per my beliefs and the beliefs of many others, a traditional religion, I feel it threatens the sanctity of my faith.
  • Furthermore, the recognition of Mormonism as a legitimate faith will cause Mormonism to be taught in schools, and I feel it important that I, as a potential parent, control when my children hear that there are such people as Mormons, in all that entails.

Now, I do not propose taking any rights away from the Mormons. Mormons have the right to their beliefs, but they do not have the right to impose their religion on me by being a “church”. They may gather as they have before, and they can retain their tax-exempt status. However, they will not be able to call themselves a church, thereby redefining religion for the rest of us in California.

I urge you to support me in this important goal to protect the sanctity of traditional religions in California.

Note: Before the hate mail comes, note the title of this post and go here if you you don’t know its history.


  1. I love it! I have no doubt, though, that the kind of people you are mocking would take it literally. Then again, they’d probably think Swift was serious too.

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