Posted by: mutantpoodle | August 31, 2012

The perfect metaphor…

You cannot imagine how upset I was to have missed all of the Republican convention this week, traveling through the Great (55 Electoral Votes!) State of California, blissfully removed from televisions. I did get back last night, so I could have watched Mitt Romney unveil his “I am a warm human being” programming, but UCLA was beating up on Rice in a game that probably had more policy specifics than the entire GOP shindig.

I do recommend two pieces of Daily Show genius. first, John Oliver’s riff on “We can Change That“, and Samantha Bee’s quadrennial exercise where she gets GOP delegates to laud the primacy of personal freedom, except, of course, in uterine-based matters.  Other than that, well, there’s not much that stands out.


Clint Eastwood, bless his apparently slightly addled soul, stole the show. By scolding an empty chair that Eastwood, um, pretended was Barack Obama.

Sure it sounds a little weird. Check the video above. It was VERY weird.

First, Clint seemed a little baked, but, God bless him, he’s 82 years old, he can do whatever he wants.

Second, Eastwood apparently thinks Barack Obama should have thought twice before going into Afghanistan seven years before he became president:

I know, in the, you were against the war in Iraq and that’s OK. But you thought the war in Afghanistan was OK.

You know, I mean — you thought that was something worth doing. We didn’t check with the Russians to see how they did there for 10 years….I think you’ve mentioned something about having a target date for bringing everybody home and you give that target date, and I think Mr. Romney asked the only sensible question. He says, “Why are you giving the date out now? Why don’t you just bring them home tomorrow morning?”

A quote, in fairness, I don’t remember from Romney, and, if he said it, one that betrays a basic understanding of how one withdraws from a war zone.

Eastwood also said he thought it was a bad idea for attorneys to be President – forgetting, of course, that Mitt Romney has a law degree from the exact same school as Barack Obama, but I digress. It went downhill from there.

The whole thing reminded me of Hunter S. Thompson: When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Clint Eastwood is a pro.

Eastwood spawned a twitter account and a meme – #Eastwooding – and a thousand comedians now believe there is a God.

Anyway, if ever there was a perfect metaphor for this campaign, this was it.  Arguing against an Obama who isn’t there and doesn’t exist in, you know, reality, because you’ve got nothing of your own you really want to share with people.

(Well, in fairness, Mitt Romney did promise to create 12 million jobs in four years, although he hasn’t explained how much tax relief he and his fellow job-creators require before they start opening those job-creatin’ floodgates.)

My sense is that when the convention night dedicated to the candidate is all about saying “no, really – he’s a human being”, you’re playing catchup in a bad area.

It’s still a close election, and Michael Moore notwithstanding, I still think Obama is going to win, but it’s clear that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan have decided that an honest argument over the future of this country isn’t in their best interests. Now, I like to imagine that Mitt & Paul know their Jerome K. Jerome (“It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.”), and have decided that, by golly, they’re just going to be the best liars they can be.

We have 66 days of this left. Don’t expect Mitt Romney to run against reality.  His plan is to create his own straw Obama and burn him to the ground.

If it wasn’t Mitt Romney, I’d say he had a good chance of pulling it off.  Because it is Mitt Romney, with his likeability and trust deficits, I’d say the odds are against him.



  1. My favorite moment was Eastwood saying that you didn’t have to vote for someone you didn’t like…

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